Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Another Week 45 - #Angkor Wat, #BBC, #HorstFaas, #Tyhpoon, #CaptainPhillips..



Thanks Ray
Auto designer, artist, racing driver, musician extraordinaire

So., today I hiked through the mud.. and after my last contribution to the social media world of blogging too.. I still didn't spit or scratch though..- Well., it was one of those sunny Fall Autumn days and the car was packed full of ramblers.. Off to the Forest where I  we hiked past cows, calves., horses and foals.., under trees., along paths, fields and heathland.. Offered a good morning here and an afternoon there... There were dogs chasing balls., mountain bikers spinning their wheels and children splashing..

Posed here., wandered there..; swung on the swing., got a bloody nose, opened gates, climbed over gates.. , crossed bridges and in the end, had a beer and listened to some live music in a busy lil' Market town..
RVP scored., I watched the Quo.. and I met a new accent.. The light filtered through the trees., I listened to a Radiohead tune and followed an angel down a path... I stood at a Crossroads (man)., felt the sun on my face.. and drove through a rising ford.. The exhaust gurgled and I came home with a nut in my pocket..
Laughing is good., but so is the feeling one has when the soul's been 'spoken' to and touched

I looked up through the autumn leaves and saw a blue sky
The air was clean and I didn't see a frown or Big Issue ALL day
I didn't see (or smell) a cigarette butt either
jus' saw experienced nature working it's mirAcle., baby

It was good., it was really good..; infact it was bloody great.. FaNTastic.. Truly a day to remember and take to the grave..

Thanks to the three guys and gals who made it all possible

Hold On Though 

Seriously., does anybody actually watch., listen., or take ANY notice of Ant and Dec.!

Of course., what's going to be written next, isn't really real., because there's always the beach, the huts., the frigidly cold ocean., the old seaside Dick Emery posters providing 'a history'..; there's always the balloon.., so yeah for those who're proud.., proud of the rooted sidewalks., the guy I saw walking through town holding his can of Carlsberg tightly in his left hand.. while holding onto his childs hand with his right.. There's always the Ink Room..

For those who don't know., I live here., right here.. and for those who do know, I've just read something local and written with obvious pride..  "Christmas Shopping' on the 'Make It B--------th PRESENTS" website.. I see we're advertising and promoting that there are three 3 Tesco's in town..(!), 13 phone stores in town.. Are ya with me so far people.? 3 THREE galleries..; that's three whole art galleries. SAd innit.. Come to the jewel in the crown, the Riviera and take in the THREE art galleries., which tells ya just how proudly 'into the arts' this town is.. I should quickly add and deviate from the fist pumping attack at mediocrity for a moment and add that this ole town has a population of about 183,500 peeps., man.. and that's the largest in the 'county'., apparently.. and all we can muster up are three measly art galleries.., proving how supportive we 'tually are., how encouraging we are.. and just what a fantastic place this is to visit.., if you don't want to take in any culture., that is.. Of course there 'may' be an odd one or two more dotted around, further afield., but the website's only indicating that there are three.. Did I mention that there are a total of only three art galleries in town..?! In that case, there are only 3 galleries in a town that boasts a population of 183,500 peeps., dude.. COME shop here... I'm ashamed..

Oh Dear
I'm off and not holding back

Ok., onwards and back to the website.. YOU (yes, you) may know who's responsible., or you may actually BE responsible., but hey, I really have  absolutely NO clue, I'm just a 'punter'., so, the supporters, YES you.., THE supporters are the real people to shop here.. There are., apparently..9 whole exciting national banks here..; yet another exciting reason to shop here.. We have yer actual banks, not just ANY banks I may add., but yer actual ones.., not like any other town, but this one actually has banks in it.. YEAH, man..
The list of shops on the website for Christmas shopping reads like a blockbusting Hollywood movie.. as the household names roll of my tongue..; for example., we have Genting Casinos.., we have a pharmacy.,  we have a Wilkinsons supermarket.. I can hear you already running towards your car., picking up your purses., aNd screaming for joy at the exciting reasons to shop here.. Let's not forget the Private Shop., Mailboxes Etc., Greggs bakery...Rio the Internet Cafe.. I know., I know.., I KNOW..; this stuff is riveting.. The website, the town., the people behind this are promoting this as a reason to effing visit and part wit' yur dough dude and dudettes.. Let's all drop everything., and drive from our town further along the coast where we have a roof over our stores., where we have a multi-storey car park that leads right into the warm, dry centre that offers up such a better choice., for..'THE Samaritans'..; YES, the Samaritans are being advertised and promoted on the CHristmas shopping website as a reason to shop... I mean dude., man.. is anybody editing this crap..? Is anybody actually copy writing this stuff..?
We have the British Red Cross Society advertised., we've got 'West---- Road Amusements '., the Southern Co op.. and we've got Argos baby.. This is really a fantastic effort to promote and bring in visitors., man..

Yeah., yep., absolutely YES..; I know what this reads like.. and YES, if you know me, you know how this may seem., but come on dude., what exactly am I saying that's wrong here..! I'm simply sharing a website that's promoting 'The Samaritans' for a reason to Christmas shop and visit .. How the heck do YOU think it reads to someone who can shop in Saffampton.., or hit Landan tahn.. I may as well go down the street to my local Tescos dude and pick up a six pack of Carlsberg to go with the roll ups.. Ok, so we can always go to one of the many bars advertised.., like Yates, Walkabout or even., wait for it.,  drum roll., THE Brasshouse..
This stuff is priceless..; seriously, come visit... Sharkies., the Moon in the Square.. There are always  da clubs for the families who want to bring along their children to enjoy a day out shopping, like for example, Triangle Club 2930., Taboo Nightclub or Camel..; that is if you can possibly drag yourself away from Coronation Street.., the TV., or the fire.. I mean guys, come on.., someone's gotta be pulling my dingaling here.,  surely..

The 'catch', or TAG line is.., or reads 'BRIGHTER CHRISTMAS SHOPPING'.; 'you'll find what you're looking for in this town center..'

Of course you'd think I'm making this up., but man, it's in black and white and sparkly bits with twinkly lights right here on this 'ere' internet thing..


There's your actual market located in the Square clogging up the thoroughfare 'cause, I suspect., 'they're' a little scared to locate it somewhere fun, cool while offering a reason (and excuse) to 'move' around the town.. Put it right in the middle where it's going to be extra tough anyways to move.. Perfect vision, by experienced visionaries.. Geez, I love this stuff... Nobody's up in the 'Walk', but hey, let's clog it up here, baby..

I'm assuming 'someone' is responsible for signing off on this.. Someone looks at a plan and says., "yes people, this is exactly where I want a structure.; perfect. We've had this here for the last 50 years and we'll have it for the next 50., right here., right in this spot.." 
Oh looky look., the town's busy ain't it.. Look at everybody in town.. IT'S CHRISTMAS., OF COURSE IT'S BUSY..; DUH, you brain fart you..  Just make it fun., more interesting and 'locate' your village thingy to make it a fun, cool reason to actually wanna visit.. THINK Mr./Ms Planner approver person person.., 'cause I'm not that confident in wanting to make an effort to visit Da Samaritans., or one of the Banks., or Tescos.. I also won't be clubbing it in Triangle Club 2930 either.., but hey.. I'm probably the only one alive who considers this crap., to be pretty crappy.. I'll be taking my business elsewhere., man..., for what it's worth..

   I'll be out of town., again, sadly.,  which means., I guess., I'll just have to postpone my Big Issue purchase an' experience, which in turn means I'll miss all this excitement that's building towards some kinda crescendo'd moment in the casino.., or Square bar.. I wonder if Santa's going to wheelie across the same two poles..? Back and forth., back and forth... and back.. and forth.. There's always the balloons and Elvis I suppose. Oh Gawd..


Even 'the' Screen (link, button thingy) is showing last year's million dollar marketing ploy., thingy do da..  and 'we' have possibly the nation's best media school right on our doorstep..! ALbert..,  I feel sick..
I feel sad, disappointed., let down, embarrassed ., uninspired, flat..; I feel as though someone's pulling my plonker and treating me like a fool.. I feel as though someone truly thinks I'm a complete sucker.. I know I didn't achieve my M.A... or Bachelor's., but man oh man.. I know a round hole and square peg when I see one..

Of course THIS is your home and because it's your home, you'll be all over my case, but guys, guys.. I'm only sharing what's been approved, published and advertised..; infact., I'm probably doing a huge favour by even mentioning some of the above places and promoting them ... gawd forbid..

The truth is already written on the 'Make It' website dudes..

The CopyWriters have written
the editors have edited
the designers have designed and
the public will read

It's been approved, dude

I'm exhausted

Read it and weep
read it and weep

'cause I'm Out

til 47 an' later



tut., official naivety

I'm back wandering the nature trails for natural beauty

of course
there's always

Paris in Fall

Kyle Thompson Fine Art

Thanks this week goes/go to copywriters - web designers -  local councillors -  local investors - local visionaries - persons who thought up "Brighter Christmas Shopping" - Gardens of Light - "Make It" people - Christmas Markets and Sparkling Weekend Stays


No comments:

Post a Comment